


Where We Belong

by Katastic11



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Sequel, Unrequited Love, and cris doesn't know, but not really, help ivan and leo may be falling in love, leo is a senstive bean, somewhat of a love triangle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-08-26 19:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 12,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16687411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katastic11/pseuds/Katastic11
Summary: Leo has finally came out to the whole team about his secret relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo and he couldn't be happier. He has everything he needs, a loving boyfriend and a team of supportive friends, and of course, Ivan. A Croatian he has become very close with. What happens when Leo's old relationship starts to slip and new ones begin to heat up. Will Ivan's new found feelings become too much for Leo to ignore?





	1. Chapter 1

“How do you feel?” Ivan asked as he sat down on Leo’s couch next to him. “You know, being completely out?” 

Leo had asked Ivan to come over and hang out after practice. He knew that Leo was nervous about coming out, and honestly he was too. Ivan was excited for Leo, he wanted him to be happy. It also made him feel better that Leo called _ him _ , and  _ only him _ , to hang out after. 

“It’s amazing. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Like I can breathe easier now.” Leo replied. A huge smile took over his features. 

“That’s great Leo.” Ivan said with a smile. “I’m happy for you.” Ivan was about to speak up again when Leo’s ringtone interrupted him. 

Leo looked down at his phone, his smile getting impossible wider. “It’s Cris, I have to take this.” He stood up and walked into the bedroom. Ivan’s smile slipping. 

***

“Well hello,” Leo said answering the phone. “Thought you had a long practice today.” 

“We do, I snuck away to call you on break.” Cris replied. He was slightly out of breath from the rough practice and sprint to the farthest corner he could find. “I needed to know it went.” 

“Really good actually. I mean they were shocked but overall okay.” 

“The most important part is that you feel better. I love you Leo, no one else has to agree with it.” Cris said. Leo could hear the smile in his voice. “At least now the team can stop paying for hotel rooms you never sleep in.” 

Leo shook his head at his boyfriends comment. Ever since that night his relationship with Cristiano has been better than ever. “I can’t wait for your birthday. I got you a present I think you're really going to like.” 

“Does it involve you and sexy lingerie?” Cris teased causing Leo to roll his eyes. He looked over at the small package neatly wrapped on his bedside table, smiling. 

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Leo replied.

***

Leo looked at his watch for what seemed like the one hundredth time. Leo had been on the phone with Ronaldo for over half and hour now leaving Ivan mildly annoyed. He understood that Leo wanted to talk to his boyfriend but why invite him over if they weren’t even going to hang out. Leo stood up from the couch and softly knocked on the bedroom door pushing it open. 

“Leo, I think I’m just going to head home I know you want to talk to Ronaldo alone.” Ivan said.

“No! Stay, I was just getting off. He has to go back to practice anyway.” Leo protested. 

“Yeah, Ivans here.” Leo said into the receiver of his telephone. “Okay, love you. Bye.” He hung up the phone and went to join Ivan in the living room.

***

“That was not far, you basically pushed me into the floor!” Leo protested as Ivan beat him at FIFA for the fifth time that night.

“Oh please, when did a little elbow shove beat the great Lionel Messi.” Ivan teased grinning. 

Leo grumbled and collected all of the empty bowels and cans from their snacking. They had never actually made it to ordering dinner, both too caught up in their healthy competition. It was now after midnight and the team had early practice in the morning. 

“Well, I better head out.” Ivan said yawning. Leo nodded at him as Ivan shoved his nikes on his feet. Ivan left the house with a smile that felt like it was permanently stretched across his face. With all of the Cris drama it felt like forever since him and Leo had shared a night like this. The two of them just hanging out having fun. No silly Portuguese football players to worry about. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Locker room bullies get what they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer, this is a complete work of fiction. It is not meant to harm anyone. The words and actions of the characters in no way reflects the actual person they are based on. Just thought this might need to be said. Also, this chapter contains bad words and slurs that may be triggering. Anyway, happy reading, hope you enjoy!

Ivan walked back into the locker room clad in nothing but a towel and shower sandals. He had just finished rinsing off after the long day of practising. They had a match against Valencia coming up and even thought it was obvious Barcelona was almost guaranteed to win, it was better to be prepared than not. Ivan rubbed his right shoulder trying his best to rub out the knot that had formed there. His quick lukewarm shower having done nothing to help. Ivan dressed into a pair of grey sweatpants and a worn out Adidas hoodie, stuffing his uniform into his gym bag. He had just finished lacing up his shoes when Pique and another guy from the team walked in.

“I knew who saw it coming that Messi would turn out to be a fag.” Pique said. Him and the other team member sharing a laugh after the horrendous statement. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Ivan said standing up. His blood boiling. Pique and company turned in surprise, obviously not aware of his presence. 

“Come on Rakitic, we were all thinking it.” Pique said shrugging and turning back to his locker. “Doesn't matter since he’ll be gone before break.” 

“And why’s that?” Ivan said walking closer, his hands balled in fists. Leo, had done nothing but bare his heart to them and this is what they do? No, Ivan was going to make sure Leo got better, he  _ deserved _ better.

“Everyone knows fags can’t play worth shit. Won’t be long till Messi turns into a sissy just like the rest of them. It’s what he deserves for being up Ronaldo’s.” Pique answered. The two men laughing again.

Ivan grabbed Pique by the shoulders crashing him into the locker behind him. The other man jumped and swore at the sound. 

“What the  _ fuck _ , Rakitic!” Pique exclaimed.

“Listen,” Ivan said seething. He put up with a lot of Piques shit over the years but he had just hit the line. “From of the looks of today Leo’s playing is just fine, especially the way he knocked your ass to the ground more than a few times. So why don’t you find the shred of human decency buried somewhere deep inside, and leave him the hell alone.” 

Ivan let go of Pique, not before giving him a good shove back into the locker. He turned his back long enough to hear the man say. “What, is he screwing you too?” 

The next thing Ivan knew his fist was colliding with the side of Piques nose. His knuckles and Piques face now covered in blood. The man exclaimed gently touching his now throbbing face. 

“Just wait until Valverde hears.” Pique warned. His statement causing a deep chuckle from Ivan. 

“Wait until he hears that your slandering the good name of his best player.” he retorted hauling his gym bag over his shoulder. Just then Ernesto Valverde himself walked joined them in the room. 

“Pique, what the hell happened?” He asked surprised to see the man bleeding onto the floor. 

Pique opened his mouth to answer but Ivan spoke first. “It was terrible. He slipped in the shower, busting his nose on the wall.” Ivan shook his head in fake sympathy. When Valverde’s eyes were off him he shot Pique one last warning glance before walking out.

***

“How’s everyone on the team? I mean how are they treating you?” Cris asked over skype. This was the first chance he had gotten to actually talk with Leo in almost a week. The business of their schedules only allowing for a text or two. 

Leo could read the worry in his boyfriends face, he almost smiled at the thought Cris worrying over him. It showed Leo that he truly cared. 

“Everyone had been great.” Leo replied. “I expected atleast a little something out of Pique but I haven’t even heard a whisper.” 

Cris smiled at the happy expression on Leo’s face. Ever since Leo told him he wanted to come out to his team, he had been wracked with worry. The thought of Leo having to suffer through hateful actions because of him made his blood run cold. 

“Well, you just tell me if you do. I’ll fly over there and beat them up.” Cris said raising his fists over his face mockingly. Both of them men sharing a laugh.

“Put those down,” Leo said through giggles. “That’s the last tabloid story headline we need.” 

“I mean it Leo.” Cris said more serious this time. 

“I’ve got it all under control, Cris” Leo replies smiling. 


	3. Chapter 3

Leo tried to rub the remaining sleep out if his eyes as he felt around his nightstand table for his phone. He pulled it from the charger, wincing as the bright light hit his face. A smile slid across Leo’s face as he saw a text notification from Cris. His smile grew as he took in the picture now on his screen. Cris was standing outside, a a black puffy jacket zipped up all the way and a thick scarf wrapped around his neck. Cris’ eyes were wide, his lips pulled down in a pout. The portuguese man never did warm up to the cold Madrid winters. Now he was in northern Italy where it was even colder. Leo walked over to his bedroom window snapping a picture of the blue skies of the clear Barcelona morning, sending it to his pouty boyfriend. 

**_No fair Leo. No fucking fair._ ** Cris’ text read. 

Leo chuckled to himself and texted back.  **_18*C and sunny, what about you?_ **

Cris responded with an obscene amount of middle finger emojis. 

***

There was only a few days left until Cris’ birthday and Leo’s nerves were beginning to surface. It would be the first time in months that Leo would see his boyfriend in person and he wanted the night to go absolutely perfect. Cris was celebrating the night before with his teammates and friends, then flying out on his actual birthday and spending the rest of the week with Leo in Barcelona. He had been running around all day picking up ingredients and last minute preparations for the welcome home night. He had just finished putting the groceries into the fridge when the doorbell rang. Leo hurried to the door to let Ivan in for a another night of takeout and FIFA. 

***

Leo’s anxiety finally peaked the day of Cris’ arrival. He had been running around all morning cleaning, cooking and worrying. Finally the house was spotless and breakfast was piled on plates placed on the table. The last Leo heard from his boyfriend was his late night text. “  **_Just a few more hoursxxxxxx”_ **

**** Leo had laughed at his over use of x’s. His flight landed almost an hour ago, he should be walking through the front door any second. The more the hands of clock ticked by the harder it became for Leo to sit still. At half an hour after Cris was supposed to arrive Leo was pacing along the kitchen floor. His eyes were locked on his phone, fingers tapping his sixth text to Ronaldo. At an hour after, Leo was damn near a panic attack. Frantically refreshing his phone, his mind thinking the worst. 

At the second hour, breakfast was beyond cold. Leo’s hair was beyond repair from the amount of time his fingers had ran through it. He had tired from pacing, now sitting at the bar his forehead pressed on the cool granite.

It wasn’t until the third and a half hour after Cris was supposed to arrive that Leo’s text tone finally sounded. He jumped suddenly from the sound grabbing his phone. Finally Cris had answered Leo’s half a dozen texts.

**_Got too drunk to catch my flight. Sorry.x_ **

That was it. Leo sighed and began throwing away the breakfast he had made, his appetite long gone. Tears started to cloud his vision as he was packing up what could be stored and saved for later. Leo gave up and sat down onto the hard tile of his kitchen floor. All the mornings anxiety bubbling up into his heart wrenching sobs. When Leo’s tears finally slowed down enough to restore his vision, he reached up and grabbed his phone from the counter. He opened up Cris message planning to respond but quickly exited out of it. Leo clicked on the name right above his boyfriends. 

“Hey can you come over,” Leo asked Ivan when he answered after only the second ring. 

“Of course Leo. Always.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears and interesting car rides

_ “So the plan?”  _

_ “Oh yes, the plan.” Cris rubbed his hands together on the small screen of Leo’s laptop. “I’m celebrating with the boys Monday night and then flying out Tuesday morning.” _

_ “Really?” Leo chuckled. “You sure not going to be too drunk?” _

_ “Do you no faith,” Cris said in mock hurt. “No Leo I’ll be fine. Plus the jets broken and that was the only flight I could catch out.”  _

_ Cris could tell that Leo was still unsure about the situation. “Come on Leo, you know me.” Cris smiled and shifted closer to the screen. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  _

***

The memory caused a fresh batch of tears slide down his red cheeks. Leo rubbed at his now swollen eyes and stood on shaky knees having to hold onto the counter to steady himself. Leo took a deep breath, he was almost embarrassed at his pitiful state. The longer he thought about the situation the more his sadness turned to anger. Cris had been so admit that he would  _ be there _ ,no matter what trials. _ I would miss it for the world  _ he had said. The words made Leo scoff. 

He walked into the bathroom splashing his face with cold water hoping to cool his now heated face. Nothing could be done however about the swollen and redness of Leo’s eyes. He gave a slight jump at the sound of his doorbell echoing through the empty house. 

***

“What do you mean he got too drunk?” Ivan said part in disgust and part in disbelief. Leo just shrugged as he response. Ivan noticed that his eyes had barely left the carpet since he arrived. Ivan shook his head stood up.

“Come on.” he said nodding his head toward the door.

“Where are we going?” Leo asked his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“To drink and forget.” 

***

Leo felt a little weird drinking so early in the day, but after the intense emotions of the morning the numbing buzz felt good. Ivan and Leo sat in the small booth of the bar laughing chatting and laughing over nothing. The relaxed conversation mixed with the alcohol was making Leo almost forget about Cris’ absence altogether. Being with Ivan was just so...easy; something Leo really appreciated.

“No, there's no way,” Leo’s jaw dropped at Ivan's story.

“It’s true! I had just turned 18 and it was the first time that I had ever been drunk. Well that drunk at least.”

“There is still no way you slept in the dog house. How did you even fit?” Leo chuckled. 

“We had a big dog,” Ivan said only making Leo laugh harder. It stopped however when a text popped up on Leo’s phone.

**_Come on Leo, don’t do this. Please._ **

The two men just stared at the phone until the screen faded to black again. “Ronaldo?” Ivan guessed. 

Leo sighed and picked up his phone but instead of answering Cris’ text he turned the phone completely off. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter.” He said and then waved down the waitress in order to buy another drink.

Ivan smiled. 

***

It was well into the afternoon before the two finally left the bar. Leo being mostly supported by Ivan as they trudged to the car. Ivan should have maybe cut Leo off earlier but he felt he had deserved it. With all of his ridiculous birthday planning, that was ruined now by the birthday boy himself, Leo had barley relaxed in the last two weeks. Seeing Leo work so hard to impress Ronaldo make an unknown feeling knot up Ivans stomach. It was a mix between anger and sadness. It confused Ivan but he had since written it off for his hatred of the Portuguese man. The feeling started again when Ivan realized that all of Leo’s work had been for nothing. He had wasted it all on a man who never learned to appreciate it. The thought made Ivan tighten his grip on the steering wheel. 

“Leo, can I ask you a question.” The drunk man hummed in response. Telling Ivan to continue. “Why? Why, after all this,  _ after everything _ , do you keep running back?” 

Ivan didn’t have to say his name for Leo to know he was referring to Cris. Leo took a deep breath and a few second to think about is answer. “The sex mostly.” 

Leo’s answer almost made Ivan lose his grip on the wheel. The car slightly veering because of his shock. “Uhh what?” 

“Well I mean, sure I love him and all.” Leo nonchalantly waving his hand in the air. “But yeah, I doubt I would have gotten so attached if the man wasn’t so good in bed.” 

Ivan concentrated hard on keeping the car between the yellow and white line. He couldn’t believe what had just came out of his friends mouth. This was  _ Leo _ . The man that flustered and blushed at just the thought of the Portuguese man. Leo had fallen asleep by the time Ivan pulled up to the large house. Ivan noticed that there was a car sitting in front of the house that he didn’t recognize. He reached over to shake Leo awake, thinking to ask him about the car when he spotted something else that was out of place. Sitting on the front steps was no other than one teary eyed Cristiano Ronaldo. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes and apologies.

“You got him drunk?!” Cris’ voice echoed off the walls of Leo’s living room. The teary eyed Cris from the driveway was long gone. In his place was a man burning with rage.

“I didn’t get him drunk.” Leo said adding air quotations as he spoke. “He upset about your ass not showing up. So I took him out to have a good time.” 

“Where he got shit-faced.” Cris said stepping closer to where Ivan was standing, his hands on his hips. “It’s  _ your _ fault.” 

Ivan scoffed. “ _ My _ fault?” He stepped closer until him and Cris were almost standing nose to nose. “I’m not the one who promised to be here and then got too drunk to make my flight. The only thing _ I  _ did was try to fix what  _ you _ broke.” 

“Yeah well you did a bang up job.” Cris gave a hard shove to Ivan’s shoulders, sending the man stumbling back. “Getting him too pissed to see straight.” Ivan opened his mouth to retaliate but Leo spoke up first. 

“Stop!” He exclaimed from his spot on the couch catching the men’s attention. “Both of you. Stop it now.” Leo stood up and stood in the space between the two. “I was the one drinking. I got myself drunk.” 

“Yeah, but Leo if he-” Cris started to argue.

“No.” Leo said cutting him off.

“Leo are you really going to let this bas-” Leo cut Ivan off too. 

“Just go home, Ivan.” Leo said shaking his head. Ivan noticed that his eyes stayed fixed on the carpet. 

“Yeah, okay Leo.” Ivan spat. He shoved past Cris on his way to the door. “You can call me tomorrow when he fucks up again and has you sobbing on the kitchen floor.” 

Leo flinched at the harsh sound of the front door slamming into the frame. Cris walked closer to Leo, trying to take his hand but Leo jerked away shoving it into the pocket of his jeans.

“Leo, I’m so sorry.” Cris said, his eyes starting to tear up again. “Please say something. Anything.”

“I’m going to bed, Cris.” Leo said turning to walk down the hallway. 

“Leo, please just-”

“No Cris. I can’t-” He sighed finally meeting Cris eye. “I just can’t right now.” He shut the bedroom door leaving Cris standing in the hallway with his mouth gaping. He walked back to the living room settling down onto the couch. It was going to be a long night. 

***

Leo woke up to a crash followed with a string of curses. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he walked through the house and into the kitchen. He walked in seeing a shirtless Cris stirring a bowl of what looked to be really thick pancake batter. The batter was also in spots around the counter and stove; Cris chest even had a few drops. 

“What have you done to my kitchen?” Leo asked. Cris gave him a shy smile and shook his head. 

“Well I was trying to make breakfast but uh-” Cris ran a hand through his already messy hair. “It’s a lot harder than youtube makes it out to be.” 

“I know, I made it yesterday.” Leo stated as he sat on one of his bar stools. “But you wouldn’t know that.” Leo’s words cut like daggers.

“Leo, I’m so so sorry. Truly.” Cris said willing Leo to look at him. 

“You should have been here.” Leo’s eyes met his. “You promised to be here. I was worried that you were dead.” 

“You right. I should have been here. I’m a selfish ass that fucked up, again.” Cris said taking that bar stool next to Leo. “If you want to kick me out right now and never talk to me again, I understand.” 

“I should, I really should.” Leo said meeting Cris’ stare. “But I can’t. I love you and I want this to work.” 

“I want it to work too, no more fuck ups.” 

“You have to apologize to Ivan too.” 

“What?!” Cris said surprised. “For what?” 

“For yelling and pushing him last night.” Leo explained. “You know it was wrong.” 

“Ugh. Alright.” Cris said reluctantly taking Leo’s phone and pushing Ivan’s contact.

***

“Leo?” Ivan answered the phone. He was surprised to see the man’s name after he ordered him out the door last night.

“Whats up Rakitic?” 

“What do you want Cristiano?” Ivan rolled his eyes. Just hearing the portuguese man’s voice was enough to ruin his day. 

“I wanted to apologize for last night.” Ivan wasn't expecting that.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, you can apologize,” Ivan smirked as he heard Cris grumble come through from the other side. Ivan knew what he wanted to hear and he was going to make Cris work for it.

“Listen man, I shouldn’t have yelled and shoved you. It was wrong and I’m sorry.” Cris said. Ivan could tell in his voice that the apology wasn’t easy to make. He had a hunch that Leo was playing puppet master behind it. 

“I accept your apology,” He said to make Leo happy. 

When it came to Cris he couldn’t give a shit, but it would worry Leo if he thought there was any tension between him and Ronaldo. Ivan hung up the phone and sighed sitting the device on his coffee table. The feelings that Ivan tried to bury was once again bubbling up to the surface. He was fine until Cristiano Ronaldo came to town. When he arrived, so did thoughts and feelings that tore Ivan’s heart in half.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday presents and more apologies

“I have something for you.” Leo walked into the living room where Cris sat. He held the small wrapped present behind his back. “Close your eyes.” 

Cris obeyed his boyfriend holding his hands out a small smile tugging at his lips. Leo placed the small package in Cris’ waiting hands. The Portuguese man gave his boyfriend a smile before ripping through the paper. He opened the box to find a small round key chain. The front sporting the picture from his last birthday, the same picture that Ivan had found with Cris lips pressed against Leo’s smiling cheeks. On there was small number etched into the plate.  _ 10/28- _ _ ∞ _ _.  _  The date of their first date and the infinity sign. 

“I know you won’t put it on your key, but I thought it was something small and simple that you could keep with you,” Leo explained nervously. He couldn’t tell from Cris face if he loved or hated it. His question was answered when Cris captured his lips with his. 

“I love it.” Cris said kissing Leo again. “I love you.”

***

Practice that day was brutal. Leo had been distracted the entire day thinking about his boyfriend currently curled on his couch. His whole body was itching to get back  to Ronaldo, back home. Also to get out from under Ivan’s stare. He knew his friends was still mad at how he kicked him out the other night, but a conversation such as the one they needed required privacy. Something he did not have much of here. Thankfully, he was lucky enough catch Ivan in the parking lot after most of everyone had left. 

“Hey, Ivan wait,” Leo called jogging over to where Ivan was climbing into his car.

“Whats up Leo,” Ivan asked.

“I wanted to apologize for last night, I was rude to you and I’m sorry.” 

“Why did you kick me out in the first place Leo?” Ivan said a bite to his voice. “I was there defending _ you _ .”

“I know, and trust me I really do appreciate it Ivan. You’ve always been there for me, it’s just-” 

“Just what Leo?” 

“It’s not your battle to fight, Ivan.” 

The words set Ivan’s blood on fire. He didn’t trust his words at the moment so he gave Leo a quick nod and opened the door to his car.

“Ivan wait pl-”

“No Leo your right, it’s not my battle to fight. I’m sorry for sticking my nose in your  _ personal business _ .” Ivan’s words came out like venom. He slammed the door and took off leaving Leo standing in the parking lot. He was probably being way to harsh but right now he didn’t care. It really was none of his business what Leo and Cristiano argued about. However, it was Leo that involved Ivan in the first place. He was the one always calling Ivan to help pick up the pieces of Ronaldo’s latest destruction. He knew now that he gotten too involved. Ivan had left Leo’s soft eyes and fragile heart draw him into a place he really had no place. Still Ivan had this overall feeling to defend and protect. Pulling into his driveway, Ivan promised to distance himself from Leo’s relationship with Ronaldo. Leo was a grown man, he didn’t need Ivan there at his beckoning call. Deep down Ivan knew this was a promise with himself that he could not keep for long. He opened his phone to find a dozen texts from Leo, all apologizing. Ivan let out a sigh and typed out a reply. 

_ ‘It’s okay Leo, really. I overacted. We’re fine’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I'm out for winter break updates will be coming faster. Thank you for your patience :)


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t believe you leave tomorrow,” Leo said. His voice was slightly muffled from being pressed against Cris chest. The two were cuddled up on the sofa, the tv being the only light in the room. 

“I know, a week is not enough time.” Cris hugged his boyfriend in closer. “We still have tonight to enjoy.”

“And just how did you plan on enjoying it?” Leo hummed lifting his head to meet Cris eyes. Cris smirked and pulled his boyfriend up until their faces were level. Leo nose rubbed against the top of Cris making them both smile. 

“I have a couple ideas,” Cris wove his hands in Leo’s hair pulling him into a fiery kiss. 

***

Leo sighed as he pulled the duffel bag higher on his shoulder. Cris had left for the airport last night leaving Leo’s house and bed cold and empty. Leo hadn’t slept well without Cristiano pressed against his back, his long arms circled around him. It would take him a couple of nights to adjust to sleeping alone again. Monday morning was proving extremely different. Leo was tired, lonely, and not at all prepared for early morning practice. Leo saw Ivan from across the parking lot and waved, but the man just averted his eyes and kept walking. Leo frowned and ran to catch up with him.

“Ivan wait-” Leo said grabbing his arm to stop him. “Are we okay?” 

“Yeah, Leo we’re okay.” Ivan forced a smile. “I told you we were.” 

“I know, but I waved at you and you didn’t wave back.” Leo cringed at how school girl the sentence sounded. “Never mind, ready for practice?” 

“Yeah,” Ivan laughed. “Are you, after your lovers weekend?” he teased. 

“No”

***

Leo was worried that things between him and Ivan was going to be rigid and awkward after their last argument. Thankfully, things were as carefree and easy as they had always been. With Leo and Cris’ relationship always changing, Ivan’s friendship had become a stabilizer in Leo’s life. He wouldn’t know what to do if things between them were to change. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so short. I promise big things are on their way ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victories and dark corners get Leo and Ivan in trouble.

Leo stood in the dressing room lacing up his cleats. The room was a buzz of players revved up for the big match. Today was an El Clasico and the energy in the stadium was unlike anything that Leo had ever scene. This game felt different with Cristiano no longer on the team, better in a way. Know there was nothing distracting Leo from the ultimate goal, winning. He checked his phone one last time before the game. There was a text from a few cousins, friends, but the one Leo was most excited to see was one from Cris. He had a sent a photo of him sitting on the couch in his old Real Madrid jersey. **_Make me embarrassed to be wearing this Xxx._ **

Leo smiled and closed his phone just as Ivan called out his name, telling him it was time to go.

***

The clock and the world seem to stop at the same time. The match was tied 3-3 the entire second half making the energy and tension the stadium rise. Leo wasn’t about to give up, his legs and lungs were screaming as he raced across the field. The ball hit the back of the net just as the referee's whistle sounded. The screams of the fans and his teammates filled Leo’s ears making tears sprout in the corners of his eyes. He collapsed into the arms of his team as they made their way back to celebrate the victory. 

The Barcelona Anthem was pounding out of the speakers and the mouths of the team in the crowded pub. Someone slammed another pint in front of Leo and he gracely took a sip. He had lost count of how many drinks he had over an hour ago. Leo had finally let himself let loose and it felt good.

Ivan sat on a barstool at the opposite end of the table nursing the drink in front of him. He was just as overjoyed about the victory against Real Madrid as everyone else, he just wasn’t a big fan of spending the next day crippled with a hangover. His eyes scanned over the crowd landing on where Leo was sitting. His head slung back in a deep laugh, his body slightly toppling off the side of the stool underneath him. The sight of Leo living so carefree with a large smile spread over flushed cheeks did something to Ivan that he didn’t understand. A feeling of want,  _ need _ , pulled him off his seat and across the room. He followed as Leo stumbled to the back of the pub where he sat at an empty table squinting at his phone screen. 

“You killed it today, man.” Ivan slid into the seat next to Leo. Leo looked up and flashed Ivan a drunken smile. 

“So did you.”

“Yeah but I didn’t make the winning goal with five minutes left in the game,” Ivan said. Leo shook his head bashfully and looked down at the tabletop. The sight made Ivan's heart hurt. Leo was an amazing player and yet he lacked so much confidence in himself. Ivan couldn’t help but think of Ronaldo, and all the ways he had crushed Leo’s self esteem the past year. The hand around his glass tightened. 

“I couldn’t have done it without everyone, their support. On and off the field.” Leo said catching Ivan’s eye. “You’ve become such a great friend to me Ivan, I barely deserve it.”

“What are you talking about Leo?” Ivan questioned. In his eyes he was the one not deserving.

“I just-” Leo ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath. “I feel like all I do is push my problems onto you and weigh you down. You don’t deserve that, no one does.” 

“I  _ care _ about you Leo,” Ivan scooted closer to Leo so he could make sure the man heard him. “I like hanging out with you after practice and playing FIFA while ruining our bodies with junk food. Or doing this and getting drunk off our asses. You don’t  _ push _ anything on to me, I help you because I want to. Stop feeling like you have to handle everything alone, Leo. I’ll always be here with you.” 

A pause fell over the two of them, the two men looking into each others eyes. Leo swallowed and found his voice, “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. I care about you too, Ivan. I should probably show that more.” 

Ivan’s heart was pounding so hard if felt like it was about to burst from its place inside his chest. It was as if there was a magnetic force pulling the two closer. Leo smelt like aftershave and sweat, mixed with the stench of beer. While it didn’t sound appealing, on Leo he found it almost irresistible. Before he realized what exactly he was doing Ivan felt the pressure of Leo’s lips on top of his. 

The kiss was short on time but not passion. It had left Ivan breathless. It took a few seconds for him to remember his surroundings and quickly look around to make sure no one saw. It didn’t look like anyone had noticed, if they had they were too drunk to notice or care. Ivan ran a hand over his lips remembering how good Leo’s felt against them. 

Leo was still stunned about what had just happened. His stomach was fighting against pleasure and guilt. He was with Cris, he  _ loved _ Cris, and yet he couldn't deny how good it felt when Ivan kissed him. Leo's drunken mind was having a hard time working though his conflicting feelings. He looked over at Ivan both of them wearing identical smiles.

***

Gerard Pique was more than a few drinks in when he pulled his phone out of his pocket. The notification screen was full of congratulation texts from friends and family. The whole team was in great spirits after the victory against their biggest rivals. Pique clicked over to camera mode to take a post match selfie to post on Instagram only he forgot to change over to the front facing camera. He cursed when he saw the picture that he had taken. The moment he captured was Rakitic and Messi sitting in the back of the pub, their lips pressed against each others in a passionate kiss. 


	9. Chapter 9

Gerard Pique woke up the morning after with possibly the worst headache of his life. His whole body felt like sore and heavy and he was sure if he stood up the pretzels and chips he had consumed at the pub last night were in danger of making a reappearance. He managed to roll over and grab his phone from where it was charging on the nightstand. Thankfully he was able to remember to plug it up in his drunken state. It seemed like the only thing he remembered seeing as though he has slept with his jeans on. Unlocking his phone he noticed that he had left the photo app open. He scrolled through the pictures from last night smiling at all of the dumb faces him and the team were pulling. He stopped when he got a certain picture that he didn’t remember taking. It was dark and grainy but he could clearly see two people kissing in the back of the pub. No not just any two people, Rakitic and Messi! A handful of emotions hit Gerri as he took in the picture. He was just joking when he had asked Ivan if he was into to Leo, he didn’t think that it was actually true. Also, what happened to Ronaldo? Wasn’t Leo and him all loved up together, I mean he just came out to the entire team. Pique sighed and opened a new text message clicking on Ivan’s number. 

**_Hey, we need to talk. I’m coming over._ **

He didn’t wait for a reply, he slowly made his way out of bed and into some new clothes. He also grabbed two aspirin for the road.

***

Ivan couldn’t stop himself from pacing around his kitchen as he waited for Pique to arrive. He tried texting him back to see what was the big emergency he needed to so desperately talk about, but there was no reply. Seeing as thought the last time they spoke Ivan punched him in the face, he didn’t have high hopes for a friendly conversation. Ivan jumped as when he heard his doorbell go off, bringing him out of his thoughts. He opened the door and Pique pushed his way into his living room. 

“What did you need to talk about?” Ivan said as he sat down next to Gerard on the couch. Pique tossed his phone on the table for Ivan to see. Ivan picked it up to get a better look at the screen. His heart stopped as he took in the grainy picture of him and Leo’s drunken kiss.

“Listen Pique-” Ivan started. 

“I’m just so confused.” Gerard said rubbing his forehead. “First Leo comes out and says he’s with Ronaldo, and now you guys are snogging in the back of the pub.” 

“It was one kiss, it was barley snogging.” Ivan said. “Also, why do you care? As nasty as the shit I heard you say, I didn’t think you cared about Leo anyway.” 

Pique rubbed his nose remembering the hard hit that Ivan gave him the day in the locker room. Not that he didn’t deserve it. His heart grew heavy as he remembered all the words he had let slip in his time of anger. 

“Yeah that was fucked up wasn’t it?” he said and sighed. Ivan nodded his head in response. “I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I was just mad I guess.” 

“Mad at what? Leo for being happy?” Ivan said, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“No, I was mad at Ronaldo. It felt like he was using Leo to weasel his way into the team. I don’t know, I guess I was afraid that he would somehow make Leo play worse, or pin him against us. I know it sounds stupid saying it out loud.” Gerard explained.

“Listen, I’m not too thrilled at the thought of Ronaldo either, but what you said was way out of line.” 

Pique nodded and hung his head down. Ivan could see that he really felt bad for the things that he had said. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not me you need to apologize to.” Ivan said. 

“I know but it’s going to have to wait. Right now I need you to explain why I have a picture of you two kissing in the back of the pub.” 

***

Ivan could feel the weight lift off his chest as he told Gerard all of the shit that had been happening between Cris, Leo, and him. He was surprised that Pique listened to his whole story, only stopping him a few times if he needed to ask questions. 

“...and then before I knew what was happening we were kissing.” Ivan said finally finishing the story. 

“But, Leo is still with Ronaldo?” Pique asked. 

“Yes,” Ivan sighed.

“Sounds like a whole lot of drama. I’m in.” Pique said.

“In? What is that supposed to mean?” Ivan asked confused. This was not exactly the answer he was expecting. 

“I want to be informed. It seems like you have some real feelings for Leo, and your not Ronaldo so I’m rooting for you two.” Pique said giving Ivan a pat on the back. He picked up his phone and sent the picture to Ivan and then deleted it off his phone. “There I think that should be yours.” 

Ivan looked at Gerard and smiled nodding his head. It felt nice to have someone to talk too, he finally understood what Leo felt like now. The big problem now was the picture. What to do with it and whether or not to show it to Leo. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The picture.

Ivan developed a plan. He was going to casually bring up the victory night at Monday morning practice and if he remembers the kiss Ivan will show him the picture, of he doesn’t than Ivan will just delete it. There would be no use to bring it up if Leo didn’t remember. Ivan wanted to say that the kiss was a mistake, but he didn’t think that any mistake could feel that  _ right _ . He had spent the whole weekend reflecting on their heated moment and he couldn’t shake the feeling of Leo’s lips on his. In his gut, Ivan knew that it was wrong. Leo was with Cristiano, and no matter Ivan’s feelings on the man, Leo was not Ivan’s to kiss.

Ivan took a deep breath and joined Leo at the end of the pit where he was stretching. “The other night was crazy, huh. I think Pique is still hungover,” 

“Yeah, I’m not sure I’ve fully recovered either.” Leo chuckled. “I barely remember anything more than leaving the game and waking up the next  morning.” 

Okay so he didn’t remember the kiss. Ivan let out a sigh of relief. As much as he had enjoyed it, the kiss would cause a definite tension between them that Ivan wanted to avoid. The moment had made Ivan realize that the strong feeling he was having for Leo was anything but friendly, something that Ivan had yet to fully figure out. He couldn’t do that if he Leo remembered he had basically cheated on his boyfriend with him. Ever since he was a teenager Ivan knew that he was attracted to men, but Leo was the first crush he had felt this strongly. The whistle signaling the start of practice broke Ivan from his thoughts. 

***

“So, what did you find out?” Gerri asked as him and Ivan walked through the parking lot after dropping Leo off at his car.

“He was too drunk. He doesn’t remember anything.” Ivan replied. 

“And that’s a good thing, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m not sure how well I could hold up in a fist fight with Ronaldo.” 

“Eh, you could take him.” Pique smiled as he opened the door to his car. He nodded his head goodbye and climbed in driving away. 

Ivan sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day as he sat in his car. He unlocked his phone and opened his photos clicking on the one that had caused him so much trouble. Ivan had every intention to delete it he really did, but his thumb hesitated over the trashcan icon. Looking at the picture stirred something in Ivan. It felt deep and intimate, like a memory that was not so easily discarded. Ivan clicked his phone off and tossed it onto the passenger seat. I mean if it just stayed on his phone no but him would be able to see it, right? 


	11. Chapter 11

Leo couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed hard and long enough to make his ribs hurt. He had almost forgot what it felt like to feel the dull ache in his chest. Who would have guessed all it took was an afternoon with Gerard Pique and he was rolling on the floor. Ivan had brought Gerri over with him after the days practice. At first he was confused as to why, and when he found out what the man had said about him he couldn’t stand the sight of him. However, after a hearty apology and a couple of beers, the two of them were becoming fast friends. The conversation between the three flowed easily and organically. It was as if the three had known each other since they were in diapers. 

Leo also couldn’t help but notice the odd shift that had happened between him and Ivan since that night at the bar. He was far drunk to remember what exactly had happened or what words had left his mouth. Yet, their relationship felt closer, tighter. All Leo knew was that when he thought back on the night a hot feeling of happiness and content washed over him. 

“Alright,” Leo said after he finally stopped laughing. He stood up and picked up his game controllers off the TV stand. “Who's ready to lose?”

***

“Ivan it’s yours.” 

“Oh uh, can you get Leo.” Ivan said not even taking his eyes off of the tv screen. Him and Gerri was in the middle of a very intense FIFA battle when Ivan’s phone went off. 

“Hello,” Leo said answering Ivan’s phone. “Uh he’s a little busy at the minute. Oh okay hold on.” Leo lowered the phone and put him hand over the speaker. “Ivan, it’s your sister.” 

“Tell Nikol I’ll call her back in a minute,” Ivan replied, still not taking his eyes off of the screen. He was losing by two goals and Gerri didn’t look like he was giving up anytime soon.

Leo relayed the message to Nikol and ended the call. He was about to lock Ivan’s phone back when something caught his attention. Ivan had his picture app already open and the last picture showed up when Leo closed the call. A grainy picture of Ivan and him lip locked in the back of the pub. The picture brought the buried memory of that night forward in Leo’s mind. 

**_“I’ll always be there for you.”_ **

**** **_“I care about you too, Ivan. I should probably show that more.”_ **

__ Leo suddenly remembered everything. The smell of Ivan’s aftershave, the scratch of his stubble against his jaw, the pressure of lips against his own. The strong force of heat and passion that he had felt. What scared Leo the most was the longing, _ wanting _ , he felt to do it again. 

“Messi, you coming?” Pique said from the doorway, breaking him from his thoughts. “It’s your turn.” 

Leo quickly closed the app and shut off Ivan’s phone. Thankfully his back was to Pique, so there was no way he had seen the picture. “Yeah be right there. I’ll grab some more drinks.”

***

Leo had tried for hours know to make his brain slow down so he could sleep. It continued to play the scene from the pub over and over again. Shame and guilt had joined the feelings Leo felt about that night. He what he  _ should _ do. Confront Ivan, tell him to delete the picture, distance himself and save his relationship. Yet Leo knew that thought and practice was two different things. It was selfish, he knew it, but Leo couldn’t lose Ivan just as much as he couldn’t lose Cris. Every time he thought about life without the Croatian man’s presence, his friendship, Leo’s own words came to mind. 

**_“I care about you too, Ivan. I should probably show that more.”_ **


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo has a lot of feelings to work out.

Leo woke up to the blaring of his smoke alarm. He jumped from the bed and jogged all the way down the stairs before he noticed that there was no smoke. That was also when he heard a very familiar voice cursing in his kitchen. 

“Cris?” Leo called out as he walked into the kitchen. There his boyfriend stood fanning the smoke detector with a tea towel to shut it off. The smoke was coming from a now burnt breakfast on the stove. 

“Shit, Leo I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Cris said sighing.

“What are you doing here?” Leo said walking deeper into his kitchen.

“Are you not happy to see me?” Cris smirked holding out his arms for Leo. He dropped them a moment later when Leo kept standing a foot away, his jaw to the floor. 

“I mean yes! Just how?” Leo finally got his feet to move across the floor. Cris wrapping him in his arms.

“We got a long weekend and I thought I’d surprise you.” 

“By burning my house down?” Leo teased earning him a small pinch in the side. “C’mon, let’s go to the couch and I’ll order takeout.” 

***

Leo felt like there was a stone in the bottom of his stomach the entire day. Everytime that Cris kissed him or pulled him closer the stone grew a little in size. The heated victory night kiss was hanging over Leo’s head like an unwanted rain cloud, constantly pouring guilt and shame over him. It had been a little over a week since he had stumbled upon the picture on Ivan’s phone and Leo still hadn’t built up the confidence to bring it up. He couldn’t help but over analyze every interaction between Ivan and him. He had the picture so obviously he remembered. Had the kiss changed their relationship in any way? Were they closer or farther apart? The most important question on Leo’s mind however, was what the kiss meant. Was it a drunken mistake or something more? Leo felt like his mind and body was being pulled in two different directions. He loved Cris, they had been through so much together and he couldn’t imagine not loving him. And yet, it was hard to ignore the way his body burned when he thought about Ivan’s lips on top of his own. Leo was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt his boyfriends arms wrap around him from behind. He looked into the bathroom mirror he was standing in front of and smiled. 

“Are you ready to come to bed?” Cris asked Leo leaving small kisses down his next. Leo’s smile widened at the intimacy. He tried his hardest to push all other thoughts out of his mind and focus on Cris’ touch. 

“Too bed or too sleep?” Leo teased. 

“Why don’t you come and find out?” 

***

Ivan had noticed a slight shift in Leo’s behaviour over the last week or so. It wasn’t a huge change, to anyone outside looking in everything would seem normal. Ivan couldn’t help but notice that the easiness that flowed between them had become slightly more strained. Leo would take more time choosing his words and he sat farther apart from him on the bench or couch. Ivan tried to convince himself that he was just being crazy and paranoid. That everything was fine. But something between him and Leo felt different, and he was pretty sure he knew just the silly portuguese football player to blame for it. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerri is not a very good wigman.

“No yeah, I understand.” Ivan said as he paced his kitchen floor. “No, don’t be sorry, we can hang out anytime. Okay see you later.” He said into the receiver before ending the call. He sighed and dialed another number.

“Hey, you got any plans today? Leo cancelled.” Ivan asked. 

“Well, as much as I would love to be your second choice, Ivan, I have a family dinner to attend.” Pique answered. 

“Sorry Gerri, I didn’t mean it like that, really. It’s just that our friend Ronaldo decided a surprise visit so-” Ivan started.

“Wait, Cristiano is in town?” Pique said interrupting. Leo nodded before he realized that Gerri couldn’t see him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Change of plans I’ll be right over.” Gerri responded.

“But wait what about the dinner?” Ivan said but Pique had already hung up the phone. 

Gerri arrived at Ivan’s house a short 20 minutes later. It was roughly around 5:30 and the winter sun had already begun to sink in the sky. Pique rung the doorbell but Ivan had seen him coming up the drive and was already at the door.

“What happened to the family dinner?” Ivan asked Pique as they walked into the living area.

“This is more important.” 

“What is more important?”

“Getting you a hot date.” 

***

“What are you talking about,” Ivan said flustered. A hot flush had rose on his cheeks. 

“Listen,” Pique said seriously. “I know your in love with him, and I know that it has to hurt.”

“I mean he’s with Ronaldo, not much I can do about that. Trust me, I’ve tried.” Ivan said shuffling his feet. The awkward conversation was making every nerve in his body stand up. He wasn’t used to having sharing such personal feeling out loud.

“Exactly. That’s why I have took it upon myself to become your designated wigman. Tonight we go out.” Pique said flashing the man a cheeky smile.  

Ivan particularly feel going out but he knew that once Gerri had his mind set there was no way he was changing it. “Okay, but it’s not even six o’clock yet.” 

“First we eat,” Gerri said holding up a take out menu with one hand. “Then we drink.” He held up a bottle of beer with the other.

***

“Wow you are actually the worst,” Ivan said laughing.

“How was I supposed to know that the guy was married?” Gerri said also laughing. 

“He was wearing a wedding band!”

The men stopped laughing long enough to take a long sip of the drinks in front of them. Ivan had to admit that even though Gerri’s wing man skills were terrible, he was having a good time. The alcohol mixed with Piques company was giving him the numbing buzz he needed. His had tried to stop his mind from wandering off back to Leo all night, but he couldn’t help but compare every “date” Pique jad picked out to him. In Ivan’s mind there wasn’t even any competition, but the fact was Leo was with Ronaldo not him. He didn’t see that changing anytime soon.

“Okay, what about that guy?” Pique said nodding to a man across the room. He looked about Ivan’s age, his close cropped hair was a dark brown and his eyes a bright blue. Ivan couldn’t deny that he was attractive. He nodded approval to Gerri.

“Okay, just relax and let me work my mag-”

“No, I’ll go.”

***

“So what are you thinking, FIFA and pizza?” Cris asked walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch beside his boyfriend. 

“Sounds perfect,” Leo responded.

“I’ll call in the pizza then.” Cris stood up and went in the kitchen to make the call. 

Leo had decided to put Ivan, and the kiss, as far out of his mind as he could and try to just enjoy the time he had with his boyfriend. After all, this had been what Leo had been craving for ever since Cris birthday and he wasn’t going to let a drunken mistake get in the way. That was another thing on his mind. He had been trying all weekend to build up the courage to confess to Cris. Yet, everytime he looked into the man's eyes he couldn’t do it. Cris eyes were filled with nothing but happiness and Leo couldn’t bring himself to fill them with pain. They would work through it, they always did. I mean Leo didn’t have any feeling for Ivan right? The passion he had felt during the kiss was nothing more than a mix of adrenaline or alcohol, at least that’s what Leo hoped. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain.

Leo had to tell him. There was no other way around or over it. He had come to this conclusion after his third night in the row waking up from constant nightmares. Leo couldn’t take the shame and the guilt any longer. Cris need, no  _ deserved _ , to know the truth no matter the hurt. 

Tonight. He was going to do it tonight.

***

“So, how did it go with Bar Dude last night?” Pique asked over his receiver. He smirked at the grogginess of Ivans voice, a sign he hadn’t done a lot of sleeping last night.

“Fine. Is that what you called to tell me at ten in the morning on our day off?” Ivan grumbled. 

“Yes! I want to know what happened. The juicy details!” Gerri chuckled.

“What are we? Teenage girls?” Ivan scoffed but his lips still turned up into a smile. No matter how annoying Pique may be, nobody could stay mad at him long. When Gerri never answered, Ivan spoke again. “How about you come over and I’ll tell you over pizza?

“As much as I would love that, I can’t today. I have a date with Shakira.” Pique answered.

“Oh okay… wait what? Like _ Shakira _ , Shakira?!” suddenly Ivan was a lot less tired.

***

Leo heard the fate sound of the shower turning off and his stomach dropped. Cris went to take a shower before getting ready for his plane ride back to Italy. Leo knew it was now or never. He took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom where Cris was standing in a fresh t-shirt and jeans zipping up his suitcase. Leo shoved his hands in his pockets so Cris wouldn’t see how hard they were shaking. 

“Hey, have you seen my watch? I took it off last night before bed and I don’t know where I put it.” Cris said looking around the bed.

“Uh, yeah it’s on the side table beside the sofa.” 

“Ah. Thanks.” Cris finally looked up from the floor. “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Can we uhh..” Leo let out a shaky breath. “Can we talk?” 

***

**_I had fun last night. Maybe we should do it again sometime?;)_ **

**** **_This is Noah btw._ **

Ivan sighed as he read the text messages. He shut his phone off and rubbed his temples. Last night was the first time in almost a year that his mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of Leo. The feeling left him both relieved and empty. As reluctant as Ivan was to do so, he knew that it was time for him to stop coveting something he could never have. It was time for him to start focusing on himself.

**_Me too. How about next Friday?_ **

***

“You liked it didn’t you?” 

“What do you mean?” Leo looked up from his hands.

“You liked it. When you kissed him.” 

Leo sighed and shook his head. Seeing the smile drop off Cris’ face at his words had sent a knife directly through his heart. Every sentence spoken driving it deeper and deeper into his body. He knew Cris wasn’t feeling any better.

“I can’t believe this. How did this happen Leo? How could you let this happen?” Cris asked pacing across the bedroom floor. 

“I was drunk.”

“And that makes it okay?” 

“No I didn’t say that!” Leo said standing up from the bed. “It was just one kiss Cris. It meant nothing.” 

“Oh just one little kiss huh? I’m the only one you're supposed to kiss Leo! I told you that Ratkic was bad news but you wouldn’t listen to me! Are you in love with him, is that it?” Cris said his voice getting louder.

“No I’m not in love with him! He’s my friend and it was a drunk mistake. We’ve both made mistakes, Cris.” 

Cris shook his head, his jaw locked. “Out of all the fucked up shit I’ve done Leo, I have  _ never _ even thought about someone else.” 

“I’m sorry Cris. Please you have to listen to me.” Tears were freely flowing down both of their cheeks. Leo stopped in front of Cris. “It meant nothing. I didn’t even remember that it happened until days after. I love you and only you. Please Cris I’m begging.” 

Cris finally meet Leo’s pleading eyes. His heart leaped and the sight of his red tear stained cheeks. “I just...I need time.” 

Leo nodded. “Of course.” 

Cris took his suitcase off the bed and walked toward the door. He stopped just past the door frame but didn’t turn around. “I’ll call you when I land. So you know I made it back.” 

The small act of kindness brought another wave of guilt and shame over Leo. He wanted desperately for a drink, anything to ease this pain, but he wouldn’t let himself have it. He deserved to feel every bitter part of this. 

“I love you,” Leo replied. 

The sound of the front door closing left Leo broken. 


	15. Chapter 15

It had only been a week since Cris had left, but to Leo it honestly felt like an entire lifetime. He couldn’t stand the tension and sadness between them that stretched across the ocean. The last Leo had actually heard from Cris was the night that his plane landed. After that it was nothing but unanswered text and unreceived calls. Leo knew he had fucked up big time. He knew that he deserved the coldness and the longing. He wanted to be mad at Ivan, hate him for causing the whole mess, but he couldn’t. He had tried, oh yes, Leo had tried to summon all of his anger to put towards Ivan but there was none there. He was an equal, participating party in this. It wasn’t like Ivan had seduced him, he was just there offering nothing but friendship and loyalty. One other thing laid heavily on Leo’s mind, how did Ivan feel about the kiss? Did he feel the same passion? Is the stone of regret and shame laying as heavily in Ivan's stomach as it did his?

***

“What are you going to wear on your date tonight?” Gerri asked from the couch as Ivan walked back from the kitchen, beers in hand.

“Uhh this?” Ivan said gesturing down to his dark wash jeans and plain burgundy shirt. 

“Really?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Ivan asked confused. 

“Nothing. I just thought you’d be a little more...fashionable.”

“Piss off Geri,” Ivan chuckled throwing a throw pillow hitting Gerard square in the face. The men settled into a comfortable silence as they watched the sports channel. The highlights of the juventus game came on next. Seeing Ronaldo’s  face made Ivan’s stomach uneasy. 

“Hey, have you heard any more form Messi?” Gerri asked Ivan.

Ivan shook his head. “No not since before practice yesterday. I invited him over but he said he was busy. I didn’t want to push.” 

Gerri nodded his head in understanding. “I’ll go check up on him tomorrow. Hate to think about him being all alone right now.” 

Ivan nodded as the knots of guilt in his stomach turned tighter.

***

Leo couldn’t sleep, no matter how much he tried. His brain was like a machine with no off switch, it just kept going. All he saw when he closed his eyes was Cris staring at his, suitcase in hand tears running down his hardened jaw. All he heard was Cris stone cold voice coming over the receiver as he told Leo his flight had landed. Yet, all he thought was Ivan. Leo knew what he needed to do, what needed to happen. He pulled the covers off of his body,  shoved his feet into the nearest pair of shoes, and grabbed the car keys from where they were sitting on the bedside table. 

***

Ivan let out a huff of air as he laid back on his couch, kicking his shoes off. His mouth was set in what seemed to be a permanent smile. Ivan tried to remember a time where he felt this good after a date. The only other person that could make him feel this way was Leo, but right now the thought of him made Ivan’s heartache as guilt tightened his chest. Seeing Noah tonight had been like a breath of fresh air. The sound of the doorbell brought Ivan out of his swirling mind. 

He swung open the door revealing a very disheveled Leo. His hoodie and jogging pants were no doubt sleeped in, even though the bags under his eyes would disagree. 

“Hey, we need to talk.”

***

“Do you regret it?” 

Ivan didn’t have to ask what Leo meant, he knew this was about the kiss. Him and Leo never talked about it, but he knew that was the reason that Leo and Cris weren’t speaking. 

“I didn’t.” Ivan said lifting his head to meet Leo’s tired eyes. “Until I found about you and Cris.”

“I just don’t understand, why keep the picture.” Leo said. His voice wasn’t angry or upset, he just wanted to know.

“That night I thought I felt something. It felt like something happened between us, like the universe finally fell into place.” All of Ivan’s feelings he had been bottling up were now just spilling out of him. “And I thought I was ready to face the consequences, but when I saw you the day after Cris found out I realized how selfish that was. Your heart belonged to someone else and I was ready to steal it away without even telling you.” 

It took a minute for Leo to respond. His mind was working through Ivan’s words, dissecting them. “I felt something too. It killed me knowing that I felt so good kissing someone that wasn’t Cris. If that wasn’t enough to do me in, telling him was.” 

“I’m sorry Leo.” Ivan said. Leo could tell that he meant it. He didn’t mean for any of this to happen, neither one of them did.

“I know. Me too.” Leo responded. 

“You guys will work it out.” Ivan said giving Leo a comforting look. “You always do.”

“I hope your right Ivan.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long it's been since an upload. Schools been crazy.


	16. Chapter 16

 

_ Can we talk? _

_ Please, Cris _

_ I’m sorry _

Cris read the three messages that Leo had left him and sighed. It was two weeks today that he had walked out of Leo’s house heartbroken. While the jealousy in his heart had faded, the pain of betrayal was slower to heal. He wasn’t angry anymore, just hurt. Cris couldn’t stop his mind from making the kiss somehow his fault. If he had tried harder in the relationship, contributed more, maybe the kiss wouldn’t have happened. However the damage was already done and only Leo’s drunken mind knows what actually happened. Cris slid his thumb across the phone screen deleting the messages. He just wasn’t ready.

***

“Knock knock sunshine!” Leo heard the muffled voice of Gerri through the door of his apartment. He had fell asleep on the couch last night after one too many hours of late night television and couldn’t find the energy to get up.

“Go away Gerri!” He yelled through the closed door.

“Fine. I know where you hide the spare key!”

“No you don-” before Leo could finish his sentence the front door swung open revealing Pique’s smiling face. 

He held up the McDonalds bag he was carrying in his right hand, slightly shaking it. “I brought breakfast.” 

***

Leo let out a moan as he took the first bite of his breakfast sandwich. Even though his diet consisted of mostly takeout, he kept it moderately healthy, especially during football season. He forget sometimes how good a greasy fast food sandwich could taste. The men at in comfortable silence, each of them done within ten minutes. 

“So uh, how have you been?” Pique asked nervously. He wasn't the best when it came to feelings. 

Leo only gave a short reply. “Been better.” 

“So he hasn’t…”

“Nope.” 

Pique nodded. He really didn’t know what to say or do to make Leo feel better. Besides fly to Italy, find Ronaldo, and drag his ass back over here and lock them in a room together until they made up. He wasn’t too sure about the legality of the plan however. 

“I’ve tried texting but nothing.” Leo sighed and hung his head. 

“He’ll come around in time.” Pique said patting him on the back.

“Yeah… time.” 

***

Cris cursed as he tripped over the pile of dirty clothes in his bedroom floor...again. Coming home tipsy and trying to navigate through a dark house was hard enough without hazards. Cris cursed at himself for being such a slob sometimes. He flipped on the light and bent down to pick up the pile of clothes, tossing them deeper into the room and closer to the laundry basket. As he did he noticed a small piece of paper fall out of the pile and onto the ground.

No, not a piece of paper. A picture. The Polaroid picture of him and Leo on Cris’ birthday. The one where Cris lips are glued to Leo’s smiling cheeks. The picture that started everything. Their relationship, Ivan finding out, Leo coming out to his team, the kiss. 

Cris sat down on his bedroom floor, back pressed against the side of the bed, cradling the picture in both of his hands. So much had happened since that photo was taken but were they any happier? Closer? More in love? Cris’ bleeding heart said otherwise. But was he capable at letting Leo go? Could they ever be as happy as the two men smiling up at him from the photo? 

Cris quickly laid the picture down next to him and dug through his pockets pulling out his phone. He opened up the app and typed one simple message to Leo.  _ Call me.  _

Within seconds that familiar ringtone filled the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo sorry I haven't posted in over a month! School and work have been crazy! Hoping to get on a normal writing schedule soon, thanks for understanding.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night phone call takes place.

Leo’s phone buzzed. He rolled over and grabbed it off the desk, the brightness of the blue light hurting his eyes in the otherwise dark room. Leo read the message, double checked the sender, and read the message again. His heart stopped. Leo didn’t allow the time for his head to take over and plant doubt, he hit the call button. One ring. Two rings. Then Cris’ familiar voice came over the phone.   
…  
“Hello?’  
“Hey”.   
“How have you been?”  
“Okay. You?”  
“Okay.”  
That’s how their phone conversation started. Cold and informal as if they were strangers on a business call instead of two lovers. A stretch of silence stretched across the line. The sound being the two’s hesitant breathing and static.   
“You’ve always been a terrible liar,” Cris said breaking the silence. Leo almost broke at the slight tease.   
“Your right. I’ve felt like complete shit lately, maybe even worse.” He replied.   
“Me too, Leo.”   
…  
They talked for hours. The damn broke and the water started flowing again. The water being words, feeling, apologies, and even tears at one point. It was exactly what both men needed, a deep, real conversation. The kind you pour your heart into. Their conversations died in the early hours of the morning when they could hardly keep their eyes open and the phone had become hot pressed against their ear.   
“Goodnight, Leo.”  
“Goodnight Cris.”  
There was another stretch of silence. Neither one wanting to hit end.  
“Hey Cris?”  
‘Yeah.”  
“I love you.”   
Cris’ heart skipped a beat. “I love you too.”  
Those three words was something both of them needed to hear spoken. It was confirmation they needed. That there was feelings still left between them, enough that maybe they could work this out. One phone call wasn’t enough to heal the wound but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you had to wait this long for an update. I would type a good excuse if only I had one. Hope you enjoyed this new chapter. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo is lonely

Leo sighed and felt around for the remote as the “Still Watching?” popped up on his TV. He pushed “yes” and settled back into the couch and continued his latest show binge. This wasn’t his ideal Friday night, but there was little choice considering all of his friends were busy. Gerri and Leo had planned a double date with Shakira and Noah. Leo offered to cook and host the date at his house but Gerri has already promised Shakira that they could cook together at his place. Messi wasn’t mad that he didn’t get an invite, he just felt a tad bit lonely.   
Cris had a team dinner and there was no guarantee he would be home in time to call tonight. Although he did promise Leo that he would try. The two had been talking and texting every single day since the initial phone call a couple weeks ago. Leo felt like the wounds were beginning to heal. It was as if the entire atmosphere around them was changing, becoming lighter and easier to breathe in. There was still work to be done between them but Leo wasn’t scared.   
Leo turned off the TV and went to snuggle into bed. He was just about to turn off his bedside lamp and close his eyes when his phone lit up with an all too familiar ringtone.   
***  
That night Leo feel asleep with his heart fluttering and a smile on his face. His veins were so full of excitement that it was almost impossible for his brain to shut off long enough to fall asleep. Cris was coming to visit. He would be here in five days.


End file.
